If your family is one that likes to do a lot together and are use to weekend getaways, going to kids ballgames all the time, or just spending time watching TV together, major adjustments may have to be made when you become the caregiver for your elder.
This situation can cause feelings of anger and resentment in your spouse and children. They’ll feel cheated that you aren’t able to spend the time with them that you have in the past.
A great way to help them understand the situation is to take them with you when you are caring for your elder. This will help them understand exactly what it is you do, how important it is to your elder and why you haven’t been around at home as much.
Having children help with things such as exercise, or with make up applications may be something your children may enjoy. Not only that, but it will help them in becoming more caring human beings.
2. Feelings of being unappreciated by your elder
This can be a tough situation. Here you are giving your all and making significant sacrifices. Yet, all you hear are complaints, criticism. All accompanied by a complete lack of gratitude from your elder.
The danger here is that you may want to simply give up, begin visiting with less frequency. offering less care – all at a time when your elder needs you more than ever.
Support groups can be good places to turn for help with issues that arise from feelings of being under appreciated, but you may want to turn to someone who you are close to. They’ll be able to provide some objectivity in dealing with the situation.
Keep in mind that if your elder has always been an ornery or ungrateful type of person, they sure aren’t going to change now. But where you are closer to them now, you are going to be impacted by it even more than before. It’s also important to understand, however, that if these ungrateful type of traits are just surfacing now that they are likely tied to their illness and not directed at you personally. It’s very difficult to be treated poorly in either case, but especially so if you’ve never experience these actions from your elder before.
It’s certainly difficult, but you’ll have to try your best to build up a Teflon exterior so that you don’t end up being resentful, rude and obnoxious to your elder when they need your understanding the most right now.
3. Feelings of being unappreciated by your family
This can be a big issue, especially when you are doing a great job with caring for your elder. At first you may be very happy with yourself for doing such a great job, but over time, you may begin to get the feeling your efforts are being taken for granted. Once this happens, you may find yourself focusing on all the times you are missing out on because you are the primary care giver for your elder. These feelings can spiral out of control, if you aren’t able to keep them in check.
If this happens to you, I’d recommend searching out a support group. There are plenty out there – in person groups or online groups. You’ll quickly find that you are not alone in your feelings. You’ll likely find others are quick to provide support and ideas of how to best deal with your feelings.
4. Dealing with lower earnings
Without question, those who are directly involved with elder care end up with all sorts of issues that can and often do impact your earnings. Lost time from your job – not to mention lost career advancement opportunities – along with stress related illnesses and lower productivity at your job can all cause you to see a significant loss in wages. While nearly half of elder care givers in the United States are able to hold down a job while being the primary care giver for an elder, their earnings are generally impacted to some degree. Of course a lot depends on how much care is needed by your elder. caregiver agency hiring